Here it is. Christmas 2025 – a whole year full of stress, uncertainty. 

All of us, constantly on guard, constantly paranoid about what horrors we’ll hear about next. What cruelty will be on full display that we had hoped even the ‘worst’ wouldn’t be capable of? 

This was a year that felt like, if you were ‘getting by okay’, you were lucky. Anything above that felt like a privilege. 

The matriarchs of my family have always tried to make Christmas special, a break from the sheer amount of shit in the world. While I wasn’t brought up religious, Christmas was always a very serious affair – it’s always been a “brain break”. A time to slow down, have fun for five seconds, and find the beauty in small moments. Sure presents were nice and all, I can think of many meaningful and stellar gifts over the years, but at the core of that was always two things. Decorating and good food. 

So many devastating things have managed to hit this family around Christmas. My uncle, my namesake who I never got to meet, was born in December. My grandma, who my love of drawing originates from, died just after Christmas, only for my father to have an affair and leave. All that doesn’t even scratch the surface. 

Yet despite that, this holiday has prevailed within our little family as something sacred, without even the ‘Christ’ bit.

So this year, 2025, an unexpected addition to the family via the cat distribution system before Christmas last year has us hiding away certain precious and very breakable ornaments away knowing a bright eyed murder-mitten bearing fluffy executioner would surely seal their doom if we were arrogant enough to hang them on the regular Christmas tree. 

Ah! But opportunity! I’m lucky enough to rent a casita that’s within the same plot of land as my mom’s rental – and what was once a downside of not being allowed pets became an opportunity! A chance to display all those loved yet delicate artifacts from before I was born. 

So then came the next challenge, I needed a tree in a year where its more than ever necessary to be frugal.

We wanted very much to avoid Amazon or Walmart, which might have been the most convenient options, some local stores and vendors frankly just couldn’t be afforded – so instead we browsed a certain furniture providing company I had good luck with in the past when it came to office supplies and shelving.

Despite being artificial, we found a beautiful pre-lit flocked tree with loving reviews and it was even on sale! How fortuitous! So the order was placed, and then we waited.

And waited,

And waited,

And waited,

And would you believe it? We waited some more!

Several days went by, and the artificial tree was not delivered at all. 

But it’s the holidays. Even when everything is running in the world, shipping is always gunked up, so you let it go.

Finally the arrival came, after beginning to wonder if we’d just have to move decorating to next year. The 23rd of December. Just in time.

I pulled the large box over to my home, relieved that the little tree had arrived just in time.

I split open the tape, open those first top flats to reveal the first peak of branches…

….

….

Well that’s not a flocked tree at all? Now is it? 

Just like the freakishly hot and dry weather outside, there’s not a fleck of even artificial snow to be found.

Oh well – I think. So she isn’t covered in snow, at least she’s here!

I pull her out of the box, set one section on top of the next, connect the lights and… oh boy….

The lights on top don’t even flicker, her metal limbs are bent, her plastic needles covered in dust, a full foot or more too tall! She wobbles with a base that is tinged with just a bit of rust. When pruning her branches I even found the scrap of the top of an ornament, chipping away, tangled underneath. I’m no stranger to ‘expectations vs. reality’ when it comes to ordering online – but this was a little silly.

Did they even try? I wonder. Did they run out of stock and just slap a new sticker on a tree returned and left to rot?

A moment of frustration, a sigh as I looked at the battered thing before me.

But then I stared at her, frustration started to dim away.

How many times had this poor tree been thrown away. What was her story? Had she been on display? Meant to entice others to buy?  Had she arrived in a family that found her not quite right, so they threw her away? Had she been about to be sent to a landfill only for a panicking deliveryman to send her to a new destination?

Whatever the reason she was here now. She was my tree, to choose to decorate or throw away.

Well it wasn’t fair, was it? Through no fault of her own that she was an unwanted product, a creation within this hell of mass production that had been made to exist for one singular purpose, only to be tossed around like she was a piece of garbage from the beginning.

Maybe it was because I grew up with stories like Toy Story, I felt bad for her. A misfit. A tree that just wanted to shine, to be seen. Only for her to be tossed aside God only knows how many times.

No. She wasn’t going to be tossed away again. We got out our ornaments, got out an extra strand of christmas lights, and my mom and I… we got to work. We gave her the extra lights to make up for the ones that had gone dim. We put our most loved and precious ornaments up on her branches. Some were commissioned by my grandma, for both I and my mom. Little memories of bygone years, and yes… some just lightly aged bobbles that just look pretty. Then, as a final touch, a sprinkling of those plastic icicles.

And there she stood. Sparkling and shining. The prettiest tree that I’ve ever seen.

In a year full of so much tragedy, with so much capitalism that feels out of control turning Christmas into a product – where The Grinch, who came from a story explicitly against the pitfalls of consumerism, has been warped and used to be its mascot now to ‘buy, buy, buy’ more than ever.

Yes, this tree came from a store. She came battered and abused. Passed around and discarded.

But she’s beautiful. Even if she’s a bit too tall. Even if her branches bend at odd angles. Even if not all her lights shine. Even if she wasn’t exactly what was expected… She deserved to be loved.

Even if its too hot outside, even if this year has been shitty…

Maybe even still,  she deserved to feel pretty.

(I couldn’t help myself. I had to try and fit a rhyme in there Dr. Seuss style lol)